I never could get the hang of Thursdays…

I’ve been flirted with by age-inappropriate strangers (both too old and too young) all day, yet had two actual dates cancel. What gives, universe? Can’t a girl catch a break?!

At least I almost got free pizza at lunch.

Break-up Therapy Series – Method 2: Reiki

I’m usually a scientist. Well, for the most part. I work in the arts, so I do enjoy grey areas. But when it comes to things like horoscopes, crystals, that type of thing, I’m generally quite scientific. But during that week in February that I previously blogged about, I would try anything to make myself feel better. My best friend Ali (who has been my rock through all of this) suggested giving Reiki a shot. She said that her cousin had tried it after her mom passed away, and described it as “a hug for her energy”. Ali even did the legwork for me and found a place in Toronto that offered “pay-what-you-can” sessions. There seemed to be nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

It took some time to schedule my session, so by the time the practitioner was able to squeeze me in, I was feeling much better than when I’d made the initial contact. But there were certainly still lingering feelings, especially as I was about to dive back into the dating pool again. Everything I’d read about Reiki said it was a very relaxing experience, and I certainly wouldn’t reject a chance to feel very relaxed.

Sonja, my practitioner, started by explaining more about what Reiki is. It’s an ancient Japanese practice about channeling energy. Basically, she would be channeling energy through herself and into me, intuitively focusing on the places she sensed needed more energy. People use Reiki to treat both physical and emotional problems. My pay-what-you-can session would be slightly shorter than a regular session, but otherwise similar in every way. She asked me to talk a bit about what brought me there. I briefly mentioned having been through a tough break up just about a month beforehand, and that a friend had recommended it to me. She really liked the “hug for your energy” line. She discussed why Reiki was good for treating emotional problems – like grief, which is what I’d been experiencing, as the end of a relationship is in many ways similar to a death. She said that I may or may not experience an emotional release during the treatment, but it would likely be short and not distressing. She gave me some water to drink as she prepared.

Not everyone uses crystals during a Reiki treatment, but Sonja does. She dumped a small drawstring bag of rocks onto a massage table in front of me and asked me to choose as many or as few as I liked. “Your body instinctively knows what it needs, even if you don’t know what they mean,” she explained. I let my intuition take over and chose a few stones that appealed to me. She put the rest away and asked me to lie on the table on my back.

She played soft, meditative music in the background and got right to it. First, she lay a blanket on top of me. Then, she placed the crystals I had chosen in strategic places all over and around my body. Next, she said she would pray a bit and begin by hovering her hands above my face.

I kept my eyes closed for the duration of the treatment, and tried to stay open to and aware of the sensations I was experiencing. Sometimes she would hover her hands over me, and sometimes she would lay her hands over various parts of my body. Very early on, she stood behind my head and reached her hands around my neck to rest on the top middle of my chest. Since about the middle of February, when I made things final-final by officially declaring no-contact, I have been feeling a painful shortness of breath in that exact spot whenever I give too much though to him, or the things that happened and were said. As she lay her hands there, I felt this space as if it were a literal hole. There was some tingling, and a welling up of emotion. But then, quite quickly, it felt as if that hole was being stitched up. The emotions subsided, replaced by a feeling of strength and well-being. Shortly after that, she moved on, as if she had felt this too. I relaxed for the rest of the session, and don’t remember much of it. She focused largely on my left side, and the rest of the treatment was a very pleasant experience.

Afterwards, she instructed me to get up quite slowly. Many people experience dizziness afterwards. We sat down at a small table in the room to debrief about the experience. I mentioned the “stitching together” I had felt in my chest. Prefacing her statement by saying that she could be wrong and I should not twist my story to suit her intuition, she said she sensed that this experience had led to a loss of self-confidence. “In fact, the crystals you chose aren’t the ones that someone experiencing heartbreak would choose.” Intrigued, I asked her to elaborate. She pointed to the very crystals I’d chosen and explained some of them to me. My selection included crystals to help with self-empowerment, having faith in my intuition, asking for help, and grounding onself – all things I’d been going over and over in my head about why the relationship was absolutely wrong for me, telling myself that I probably should’ve been the one to leave, and leave much earlier. It was fascinating to see that I had chosen things to help with exactly that without consciously knowing what I was choosing.

Effectiveness of Method: I left the treatment feeling relaxed but energetic, as well as positive and fulfilled. Sure, some of it may be psycho-sematic, and the skeptic in me wants to point out that many women feel a lack of self-confidence at the end of an important relationship. She could have taken a shot in the dark there. But there was no denying how much better I felt, and how I went on to have a great evening afterwards. The pain and shortness of breath I was experiencing intermittently has not returned. Hokey-new-age treatment or not, something in me feels as if it’s taken a major step towards healing. I recommend that anyone in that type of pain keep an open mind and give it a shot.